There are so many emotions that float around when I think of purity for my son. Our boys (and men) are assaulted with visual images all day long that do nothing to help them with purity. Nick is about to enter 4th grade and I have seen not only on tv but in his school little girls who do not dress in away that is edifying to boys. I have been young girls flirting with my child in ways that for the life of me I will never know how they learned it. In the world boys are made to feel like they are not a man unless they have had sex. Having been a middle school teacher I have seen 11 and 12 year olds that are sexually active. Did you know that the average age of porn exposure is age 11??!!! Seriously!
Purity is another area that we need to pray about and arm ourselves with information on how to equip our boys in this area. We have to be open and honest with them, shaping their view of what is appropriate and what is not. "Putting it all in to the context of God's gift for marriage alone!"
So today not only do we talk to our boys and guide them we pray hard for them to know, understand and stray strong until they meet the young woman God has picked out for them and they get married! Come to think of it I am also going to be praying for Nick's future wife in this area!
I am also hoping that my friend and fellow Mom of boys Tammy will jump in here and give us some comments and guidance in this area since she teaches abstinence in our school system!
"And all who have this eager expectation will keep themselves pure, just as He is pure." 1 John 3:3
I wrote a long comment the other day that wouldn't post--so, I'm trying again. Boys' nap time is almost over, so it will be short :)
ReplyDeleteThe culture has shaped a standard that "boys/men can't control themselves sexually, so just encourage them to have 'safe sex'." The culture has somewhat come to this same standard for women, though the nicknames for sexually active girls are still way more demeaning than for sexually active boys.
When boys grow up in this culture where they are essentially 'expected' to be sexually active, we need to pray extra hard for them to have the strength, willpower, self-confidence, etc to go against the grain. We need to build their self-efficacy and teach them that they CAN abstain until they are married. So many of the teenagers that we teach end up saying that we are the first people to ever tell them that they don't have to have sex as teenagers. It's like they feel this sense of relief when they hear the abstinence message!
Culture has also set a standard that encourages the mindset that "all boys look at pornography and it's harmless." Totally false. It is so incredibly harmFUL--to the man, his wife, his children, potentially his job, etc. I would much rather my son become addicted to cigarettes than to have him addicted to pornography (and pornography is designed to be addictive and de-sensitizing)---images from porn will forever be stuck in his head and could do more harm to him and his family than cigarettes ever could (not that I'm advocating smoking). So, we definitely need to be praying that our sons won't even be exposed to pornography and that they would have self-control and wisdom to reject porn if they stumble across it. We want our sons to treat women with respect for who they are and not degrade women by just viewing them as objects.
That's all I have time for right now--crying kids in background! I just helped author a book for parents that should be a good resource for encouraging abstinence until marriage. I'll let you know when it gets released!