Thursday, January 30, 2014

I Quit

I've been praying for a word to live by, one that God  would give me to help me move forward in my walk with Him.  I prayed over and over and non stop the word QUIT kept coming up.  I rejected it every time saying to myself that's my mind, that's indigestion. It was not. As I began to pray for wisdom as to why this word kept coming up God began to show me all the places in my life that over time I've said "yes" to things, words and items that God did not ask me or want me to do.  

Over the next few months I will share what I'm "quitting" but I'm starting with rejecting...self rejection.

So I stand here for 2014 saying "I Quit" to rejecting myself.  You see most of my life I've  never had a problem with my weight. Then about 10 years ago I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease of my thyroid. The short story is I now  no longer have a thyroid and have had many health issues related to Graves Disease. I've been through since 6 months of prednisone at very high doses and radiation treatments to help save my vision.  I went form a size 6 to an 18 and a diverse during this time. This started my rejection.  I've never gotten down to my fighting weight and for years this has played in my head that I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm not perfect there for I won't date, I won't put my self out there in ministry because I don't feel good enough...every so often I think I've conquered this and I give it to God but it's my Achilles heel and I listen to the lies I quit rejecting myself and allowing these lies to hold me back. 

I quit dieting and vow to continue the healthy eating and let the weight focus go. 
I quit not doing things because I'm afraid of being rejected. 
I quit not doing things because it might not be perfect or as good as yours. 
Today I quit the lies and live the truth. 
Lord, forgive me for partnering with lies and not being all you've called me to be. 
Jeremiah 1:5
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart

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