I am praying for you and your heart.
I encourage you to find joy in the mist of the half Christmas day schedule switch, the loneliness of the quiet when they have headed on to the other parents and the sadness that this was not the way you dreamed it would be.
Find joy in the moments with your kids, get busy if that what helps you, reach out to friends...they would love to have you but may have forgotten you are a lone. So reach out, reach inside and make a change...find a new tradition. Just because this is not the way we planned our life doesn't mean we can make it a game changer for the best.
So CHEERS to you, you are a rock star! Hold that head of yours high, love your kids and know that they will be ok and so will you!!!
and prayers to you!!!